what??????

Today...I found myself once again..defending my new hair cut...i know it makes my face look fatter..but it's not like i have really beautiful hair...plus it is just hair people.. and it will grow back!! Anyways..so when i'm faced with the question.."So, why did you cut your hair?" I just start spouting off all the reasons ...1. ready for a change 2. starting to get hot out side 3. dead ends...all which they were unimpressed by..and then I let it slip..the biggie..the real reason why..i cut off my hair....4. well, im also having surgery in April..I just felt like shorter hair would be easier to deal with after surgery 5. there is a big chance with this surgery im going to loose a lot of hair..i just thought shorter hair would be deal with this better!
******* So some backgroud..before I go on..im having this conversation...in front of three girls. Two that I know the othere I do not. I already knew that one of the girl's mother had weight loss surgery. Because when I found out last year..i couldn't believe it because this women was not very overweight. Maybe like 50 or 60 lbs (which i know for some people reading this might seem like a lot)..but not near as big as most people that have these surgeries. If I lost 50 or 60 lbs it would be great but I would still be morbidly obese. I have never talked with this girl about her mom's surgery but everyone that have talked with me about it also could not believe this women was big enough for weight loss surgery. *****
So after I listed all my reasons...they asked what kind of surgery I was having and I said weight loss. The one girl said well my mom had that (the one I knew) and then she said..her mom did too (the one I didn't know)! She went on to tell me her mom had a Gastric Bypass (which im not having) and that she was happy with the weight she lost..but for a while her mom was wishing she would have just gone on a strict diet instead of having this surgery. She said her mom had lost weight on her presurgery diet and for a while wished she had not gone through with the surgery. WHAT??? What am I supposed to say to that?? I was thinking...well..maybe it's because your mom was not that big to begin with...maybe she should have been trying to lose weight in other ways than just the presurgery diet!
**** let me also just say that I really, really, really like the girl I was talking with today a lot..i was just frustrated...and not feeling well...PMSing..on top of that...there was the I didn't know what to say next factor*****
Well, I have basically been working out...and trying to eat healthy since Sept...and I really didn't loose any weight..i pretty much bounced around the same 6 lbs!! I've been overweight my whole life...i was small toddler but between the years of 82 and 84 (ages 2 to 4)..somewhere along the way I chuncked up!! Sure there have been times I wished I was smaller but I've never really been sad or dispressed about my body image...it really only started bothering me...when I started not feeling well...having to be on something full time for my Blood pressure..and struggling to become pregnant over the last 2 years...so it's time..it's so time!! I hope and pray that things go smoothly and that I have no regrets..like that woman did!! Maybe she just thought that surgery was going to be the easy way out..but its anything far from it...it should be a very strict life change!