New crazy obession

So I have this strange new obsession...I am obsessed with FAT PEOPLE...are you surprised? All weekend (well when I have had time) I have been sitting down to the computer to search out Fatty's that blog about their life! My absolute fav to read or look at is about Fatty Preggos! I wanna read their blogs, hear their stories, see what they wore, what they looked like..i wanna know where they got their clothes, how smoothly or unsmoothly their deliveries went...serisously...I'm OBSESSED!! I can't help it! Anyways..just wanted to share...

5 things I'm thankful for...

1. hanging out with Cash today
2. Getting to worship the lord
3. that i will get to see Faith tomorrow...
4. Best husband ever (he's cleaning my car as i type)
5. My mom's dressing..it's my fav!

today's 5

Today's 5 should not be a struggle ~~ I have a good Savior, family, husband, friends..place to live, place to sleep, a job, and some money saved up ~~ clothes on my back and food on my table...but I am still struggling with contentment! I find myself being jealous and even angry at those women who are pregnant, just had a baby, or just have lots of kids! It's so hard having the job I have where so many of my families don't really care about their kids ~ some of them are not only living with parents who don't pay attention to them...they live in homes that are dirty, nasty, filthy, bug infested crap holes! Over the last few months I find myself going into these homes ...and just crying off and on throughout my visits...I just keep thinking how unfair that some of these parents who don't care get to have lots of children while we sit back and struggle trying to get pregnant! I've been doing better...about not crying as much and I have been praying and praising GOD through this storm trying to realize that it is all in his time not mine ~~ but since Sunday..I find myself falling right back into my pit of despair! Struggling to lose weight, finding compassion for others and seeing those that I am jealous of or that make me angry at with Christ like eyes keeps becoming harder and harder for me to do! I WANT TO US to HAVE A BABY SO BAD>> I COULD JUST SCREAM! If I was 5 years younger I don't think this need would be so bad...because the only thing worse than being FAT and PREGNANT is being OLD, FAT and PREGNANT! I will be 31 in Novemeber and I never thought I would be this old with no children...it's funny how we work out a plan in our heads as kids but then when things don't go the way we planned from when we were 10 years old...you still are shocked and hurt! I know I need an attitude adjustment...I know how many things that I really have to be thankful for...God has blessed us with so much already and I keep reminding myself that those answers prayers to those that are true and faithful to his word. Then I start feeling guilty for doubting..see..it's all a big devilish circle I have got myself trapped in..ugh!
So today I realize that I need to write down 5 things I am thankful for because I need refocus and start putting all my negative thoughts aside!
Today I am thankful for:
1. A God that loves me
2. A doctor's office that doesn't make me feel bad because I am overweight
3. Getting to make sweet Cami laugh about 4 times! (Most precious sound ever)
4. Only having one kid to see today for work
5. A Sweet husband who loves me unconditionally!

In honor of Cash...

In honor of Cash's birthday party tonight..I am dedicating this blog to him! My 5 favorite things about Cash....

1. The crazy "movie" or "random toy" phases that he always go through! Ex: Wizard of OZ, Harry Potter, Volcanos!

2. That he will still gives me kisses...sometimes...usually have to beg..or he will pass them out freely when he wants something!

3. His adorable smile and his big blue eyes!

4. The way he innocently asks so many questions!

5. That he has a stubborn, I know what I want, not giving up till I get it attitude...because one day this will help him be an awesome christian!

In honor of Owen...

In honor of Owen's birthday party tonight I decided to shake things up and just write my 5 favorite things about Owen!

My 5 Fav things about Sweet Baby O are:

1. His sweet crazy Vampire teeth smile

2. How he can even make tons of slobber and drool look adorable (see pic above)

3. His love for off key singing

4. That he is CRAZY bout his mama (that's the way it shoud be)

5. His beautiful, friendly, loving life, easy going personality that GOD gave him!

I am thankful for:

1. Steel cut oats..they are delicious, nutty, and full of fiber

2. The lady who walks for miles every morning in a different direction to pick up trash along the road.

3. My job..because I realize no matter how frustrated I get I am the only attention or play some of those children get all week!

4. That I got to play and love on Candy's kids today..that does't happen often and everyone was in a really good mood.

5. The Rain!

Today's five

Things I am thankful for:

1. That the cleaning lady was able to remove the orange stain in our bathtub!
2. For the awesome pain pills that take away some of my hubby's pain.
3. I weighed 3 lbs less today than I did on Sunday
4. That Owen is having a Vintage 1st birthday party
5. Yellow box flip flops ..they are AMAZING!

My 5

Today I am thankful for:

1. This morning when I woke up I didn't have to brush my hair! I am not saying it looks good, Just saying that I didn't "have" to brush it because it's in a crazy bun!

2. That I was able to balance out the healthy egg whites I ate for breakfast with a delicous carb called a WAFFLE!

3.That I got to wake up next to my precious Cash this morning.

4. That my hubby's wisdom tooth hole is NOT infected!

5. That only having a few kids at work to see means that I get to take an actual lunch lunch!

5 Things I am thankful for today

I was just inspired by the one of the emails that I received from the biggest loser! It talked about how everyone should write down 5 things each day they are thankful for ~ It also talked about how hard it was to do this but usually after people have done this for a while it's very rewarding! As I read it I thought, "that's ridiculous it's not hard to find things to be thankful for." But now that I am faced with the chance to start writing them down I realize the reason its so hard is because It will be hard for me to stop at just 5! So here is my list of things that I am thankful for today!

Today I am thankful for:

1. Prayer ~ that as Christians we have this awesome opportunity to share with God what's on our hearts and minds. I am also thankful for prayer because it's so precious! Even the smallest of children learn at an early age how important it is to pray! If it's been a while since you listened to a child's pray ~~ you are missing out ~~ it is so humbling!

2. That I am Ms. Robison...I'm sorry I mean Ms. Harrison Robison (faith does that sound better?)

3. That earlier today with God's help I was able to think of some positive things to say about someone that I often only have negative thoughts and feelings towards.

4. That My sweet Cash is 5 today. He has been such an amazing blessing to my life! I thank God for the privilege to be apart of his life! I always thought that he and Briana needed me but it turns out that I have always needed them!

5. Lastly, I am thankful that there are just 4 more days to Friday! Whoot ~ Whoot ~~it's birthday party central all weekend long!

God is so Good!

Judgemental, moody, mean, ungiving, uncompassionate, unmotivated, tired, not Christ like, negative, and unprayful...really the list could go on and on about how I have been feeling lately! It's so hard to say that you believe in God and are a Christian and go through all the motions but have no heart behind it! I find myself in the pit....my pray life is almost non existent and feel like my life is in a whirl wind! I am so ashamed to be right back where I started with no self growth or life changes even after I started this blog to help keep me accountable. I am so ashamed that even after I went against everything that I grow up believing in and hurting so many people who love and trusted me when I was baptized, that I find myself in this terrible place now! Something has got to give. I made that decision almost 6 years ago to step out on Faith, Trusting in God Completely ~ Believing in Christ ~ I was baptized for the remission of my sins!

God is so good because the bible tells us that, "he gave us his only begotten son, so that whoever believes in him should not perish but have everlasting life" John 3:16. The cross should be a reminder of ALL that God sacrificed for us..for me ~~ no matter how unworthy! That alone should be enough to make me want to change this very moment ~ so why is it so hard!

I wish I had an answer.

I don't..... but I do know that I need a change! I am ready to give my all to the cause of Christ not matter what! I think so many times before I have been scared about the path that God might lead me down or the things or people he might ask me to give up ~~ but starting now ~~ I am committing my entire life, my very being to the cause of Christ! I want the world to know how much I love the heavenly father ~ I want to share God's love and compassion with the world!

Dear Heavenly Father,

I humbly bow before you once again Thanking you for so many things ~ Jesus dying on the cross for my sins, my husband, my mom and dad, Adam and Tamara, Briana, Ray, Cash and Cami, Thank you Lord for giving me the opportunity to be apart of their lives to be able to help them and allowing me the practice I need to help me be good mother one day. My life has been so blessed because I have been able to share it with Cash and Cami ~ Thank you for allowing me to know the love of a precious child. Thank you lord for Faith, Mike, Payton, Maddie, Emma and Owen, Catherine, Ed's Parent's, Briana's family (mom, dad, candy, scotty, karlie, cora, wylie, mandy, marc, avery and jace), thank you for my job, Ed's job, Rush, Brance, Tiffany, Emily (baby), W, Ben, Alethea and Baby, DeAnna and family, the people I work with, and my whole family as well as my church family.

Please forgive me for failing you daily, for not putting you first, for allowing earthly and material things to cloud my vision to you, Forgive me for lying, hurting others and for my uncompassionate, unchristlike ways. Please forgive me for asking for blessings from you when I was not putting you first.

Please bless all those that I mentioned that I am thankful for. Keep your loving, sheltering arms around them daily keeping them safe. Allow me to live my life in a way that might be a shining example to them and to others of your love and life. Help me lord not to be so judgemental of others and to see all people and situations with Christlike eyes. I pray that you will help Cash, Cami, Payton, Maddie, Emma and Owen to grow in your love ~~ keep them especially safe, healthy and out of harms way. Allow each of them to grow into wonderful loving Christian men and women that grow to worship, serve and love you.

Father Please bless Ed and I with children. We are so thankful for each other and we both desire for our family to grow with children. We especially pray for healthy, happy, loving children that we can raise in your love that one day they will grow up to love, serve and worship you with their whole heart.

I know that there are so many other things that I could continue for pray about, but I think for tonight I will leave it at this. I love you so much and I pray that you will share your blessings on all my friends and family.

In Jesus Name