ok..one more with pics

Leaving Hospital

-28lbs

-38lbs

-44lbs

 I wish I knew how to put all these pictures..super close together to make an awesome collage..but im not that good..maybe one day!!

a few pics..be warned the pics are not that great!!

Look at those baggy shorts...actually they don't look so baggy here...Briana told me today that  these shorts look really bad!!  So trust me they are baggy!

So here it is..2 months out!!  :)  -44lbs!!

I

2 months on the losers bench

Well..well..well. Here I am 2 months out! I can't believe that 2 months ago yesterday..I was having surgery!! I feel so blessed to be two months and I'm very thankful that those first days are over!!!! I am especially proud to say that as of this morning..I am -44lbs!! Awesome!! I was going to post a baggy pants picture.but I think I'm gonn a have to do it later cause I can't figure out how on this iPad ;) I feel pretty good..I went back to regular doc on Monday and had an ultrasound. Turns out I have two cysts on my left ovary..and the lining of my uterus is to thin..which is why I just keep bleeding..I'm on day 33...don't be jealous! So Beth put me on a low dose birth control..hoping to make it all stop..so we will see I got back in a month to see if the cysts are gone! Anyways..-44.... Makes -50 seem so attainable!! To God be the glory!!

He always knows what I need

Isn't that just like the heavenly father to give us exactly what we need...when we need it??  This afternoon after working out I ran to walmart...btw..I HATE WALMART!!  I was chatting it up on the phone with my BFF when there was a rat -a-tat-tat on my car window!  When I turned to look it was a lady that I knew from Sharon.  Her mother told her that I had surgery and she wanted all the details because Doctors had recommended for her too!  She started off by telling me that I "looked good" and that she could tell by looking at my face that I had lost weight!  After I filled her in on all the not so glorious details of the past 7 weeks I gave her my number and got out of the car!   When I stood up she went on and on about how great I looked and even called me "skinny minny!"  lol...keep in mind.im pretty sure that I am bigger than she is even now!!  I shared this random story just to say...that I have been feeling so blah, fat and angry the last week and then just as I least expected it he placed someone in my path to give me that little boost!  I mean I wasn't even planning on going to walmart!  I just decided at the last minute to go! How awesome is that??  Well I say it is pretty awesome!!

I feel fat

I know that title probably just cracked u up....I mean you realize..that even after losing 40lbs..that i am still considered super morbidly obese (I did not make that term up it's a real thing)! The last couple of days..I haven't felt like I've lost much weight..I just feel blah!!! It possibly could be attributed to my crazy hormones and the fact that I am now on day 26 of my period (yes I called and I have an ultrasound scheduled for Monday)! Before I stArted typing this blog..I read a sweet comment that a dear sister in Christ wrote on my last entry it made me cry and also made me feel guilty for feeling this way!! I know how incredibly fortunate I am and how blessed that I am that God has allowed me this great opportunity to change my life! I am so grateful..and will continue to praise him through every emotion..and crazy hormonal storm...and hardship along this journey! I just needed to share how I was really feeling so that I can hopefully help someone else who might be considering this path! Being honest on here will also be so helpful..when I look back to track all my progress! Glory be to Jehovah God!

40lbs..

That's right..I've lost -40 lbs! I'm not sure when I mis calculated but last week I said I had lost -38... But it was more like 36...in my defense I am terrible with math!! I can for real without any doubts say that I have officially lost -40lbs!! This amazes me especially when I am on day 22 of menstrual cycle! I know that is crazy but I went to the doc last week and she has given some medication to stop the bleeding but so far it has not helped..I'm supposed to call doc back Monday if It still hasn't stop by then!! Overall I am feeling pretty good and i am just trying to balance this new life along with everything else that is are going on! I'm constantly trying to make healthier decisions besides just eating healthy and exercise....I'm also parking a little farther away...taking the stairs...riding my stationary bike while watching my tv shows...etc!!! The big news is that I finally ran on the treadmill for the very first time ever!! I was nervous and scared to do it...I was afraid I would fall off or that others around me would say bad things..but it wasn't so bad...I did it alomNg with the C25K..so it was only 60 seconds at a time and I only did 3 of the 8 runs..actually running!! But it empowered me to keep trying it!! Ok one last note...I just finished a very emotional Dr. Oz about women who are struggling with aneroxia..it was very sad, and disturbing!! Dr. Oz started off by saying,"when was the first time someone told you that you were fat?". This got me to thinking..again about my childhood..I honestly don't remember ever being made fun of as a kid and I've been chunky since I was between 2 and 4!! I can remember there were kids that were a lot smaller than me but still considered to be "pleasantly plumb" That got hassled and teased all the time for their weight!! I don't know why I was never picked on....I've thought about it a lot maybe it was because I was such a confident person that they knew their negative words would not effect me or maybe they did but I blocked it out..or maybe since I was such a "good" "nice" girl they couldn't make fun of me..but I really don't know!! I think the first oerson to ever tell em i was fat wqs an adult! I think i was seriously an adult before I thought I might have a weight problem!! I found that adults were much more judgmental and eager to let you know that you are up to par!!! It took me 8 years to finally make this hard decision...I realized I couldn't lose the weight on my own and that I needed to be healthy.And .fertility problems eventually sealed the deal for me! Through prayer and God's mercy..this thought finally became a reality!! But...... I say all this to say..those sweet ladies with anorexia break my heart...and even though I am so happy and pleased to have lost 40 lbs so far and I went through drastic measures to do it...in comparison to anorexia..I would choose to weigh 357...any day instead!!

6 weeks on the losers bench!

The last 6 weeks has really flown by quickly!!  I can't believe that in 6 weeks I have lost -38 lbs!  I am finally starting to notice a little in some of my clothes...finally had to put away 2 pair of shorts and a dress that is a little too big! How exciting!!!  I am super duper pumped about that..and supposedly today must have been a pretty good day because several people at church and at mom and dads said they could tell that I had lost some weight..so here's a pic:

Honestly I don't see it...maybe a little in my face..that you can't see because of my phone..please ignore my dirty room..lol..and the bra hanging on the door knob!!

So lets talk about head hunger...i read about it and I heard a lot about it...I honestly haven't had to much of a problem with it..but this passed week I did experience it some and while shopping at Walmart late Thursday night..I really felt sad!  I guess you could say that I was mourning food!!  I was there forever and I found myself buying more deli meat and yogurt just because it was something I could control and eat!  I mean technically I can have whatever well..within reason..but I need so little food to feel me up that I really have to be careful and make sure that I am eating the right stuff, so that I am getting enough protein, etc..etc..etc!!  I have never really been a junk food junkie or anything....but I guess I just miss eating whatever I want..when I want..instead of thinking it all through so much!!  Making sure that I don't eat 30 mins before or after!!  I am also a bit tired of eating so much meat!!  Sadly I have never been a huge meat eater and this was one of my biggest fears about having this surgery!!  I can honestly say i've proud that I have lasted this long with no problems!  I am sure all of this will get better..im just feeling a bit down!  So excited about what the next six weeks will result in!

Im to young to feel so old!

I've been working out pretty regularly since Sept last year!!!  There have been a few weeks where it was not as often and of course there was about a week or two after surgery where I wasn't doing a whole lot except slow walking!!
So this week I was feeling rather Spunky and decided to "bust a move" on the workout "dance floor!"  I've been running the C25K on the elliptical and lifting weights ....tried taking a Pilates class...and did some crazy workout that Briana  made up ..including weights, lunges, leg lifts, and some calf workouts!  So my body hurts and when I get up from sitting ..I find my self walking around just like My Aunt Lou used too!!
 My left leg hurts, My right calf hurts, My right foot hurts, my arms hurt, my lower abs hurt, and my abs on the left side hurt!  So yeah..good times..on the brighter note ... I lost a few more lbs!  So now the grand total is -31lbs!
I just can't wait to finally feel some "post workout swagger" instead of hoping that I don't fall down the stairs after my workouts...aww..one can dream!!!